Excuse Me, Sir, Is That a Fire Hydrant Under Your SUV?

Exhibit A: Fire Hydrant

For at least the third time in the last couple of years, I was woken up out of a dead sleep to the sound of a drunk driver crashing into something on my street. For the second time, it was a fire hydrant.

I was all cozy in my bed Friday night when I woke up to a loud crash. I quickly jumped out of bed to look out the window and saw an SUV driving on the wrong side of the road with sparks coming out of the bottom. A couple seconds later I noticed the flood of water rushing down the street and realized just what the driver had hit and what he was still dragging: a fire hydrant.

Next, I noticed the minivan parked in my neighbor's driveway and saw that my friend, Amanda, was dropping my neighbor, Kristen, off at home after scrapbook night. (Those scrapbooking girls are CRAZY! Twice a month, a group of them meets to scrapbook until the wee hours of the morning.) Anyway, they pulled in the driveway just moments before the crazy drunk came plowing down the street.

Most sane people would probably go back to bed at this point. Not me. After calling the police and the water company, I pulled on some clothes and headed outside to take in the unnatural disaster and of course, to take pictures so I could blog about it.

Kristen and Amanda and their babies outside at 1:00 a.m.

Since we're in a major drought here and probably going under water restrictions soon, Michael and I decided to take advantage of the free water. I had a tiny bucket and was watering my shrubs and flowers. Michael got out a big 'ol trashcan and watered his whole yard.

It took the water company about an hour to come shut off the water. I wish I could have found a way to funnel it into my yard. (If only I had hundreds of sandbags stashed away for a time such as this.)

So here's the funniest part. (As funny as a drunk-driving crash gets.) The fire department shows up and asks about the drunk driver. We told them to follow the gash in the street (caused by the dragging hydrant) and it might lead right to him. Sure enough, they come back and tell us the SUV was parked in a driveway with the hydrant STILL UNDERNEATH! You KNOW I had to go get a picture of that! At this point Amanda decided she was going to go home and said she'd drive me by the house first so I could take a picture. The scrape in the street led us directly to the guy's home and into the driveway where we found the perpetrator's vehicle. Jackpot. Mid-photo shoot, I notice the guy is peeking out of his blinds at me. I yell to Amanda to take off and we peeled out of there in her minivan.

But I got a good picture:Ah. Good times. Anyway, the cops finally showed up and went to the guy's house, and the water company came and turned off the water, and then I went back inside and realized I had been outside for an hour with CRAZY bed hair. (no picture available)

INSERT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT HERE: Don't be an idiot and drive drunk. If you know you're going out to drink, make plans beforehand for a designated driver. Take a cab. Call a friend BEFORE you get drunk. If not ... the next day we could all be laughing about the fire hydrant you hit, or much worse, you could have just ruined your life by killing somebody.